It was hard to believe that it was time to hit the road again. We had just
gotten back from Wintergreen and these old bodies had yet to recover -- no
sleep (hard mattresses) and digestive ills (weak plumbing -- and, as firm
believers in the "leave no trace" policy... enough said)...

Some how Da and I repacked the suitcases, loaded a bag full of snacks and
drinks (forgot the paper towels again!) printed out the appropriate clues,
carted pup back off to the kennel and and set off north.

Miss Ma was the only one who had truly prepared for this visit to the NY
area. She had her art supply kit, favorite stuffed animal traveling
partners and the new Lizzie McGuire movie to pop in the TV. But, most
tellingly, over the past week she had managed to add the phrase "oooooh my
gawd!!" to her hourly lexicon with the correct inflection and everything!
This is not a phrase we use a lot at home (except when discussing the latest
reveal on Trading Spaces...) so we don't know where she got it from. None
of the other powerful influences on her life (Sponge Bob, Squidworth, etc.)
could be blamed. But it sure made her sound like she was ready to take NYC
(or at least Long Island) by storm!

The newly acquired Lizzie McGuire movie lasted just as long as the
construction traffic around the beltway leaving four more hours to fill...
Mom and Dad survived the drive and the kids managed to survive despite the
fact that they got an old Happy Meal toy at the Burger King on the Jersey
Turnpike (surprised?!) Though not without begging the cashier to exchange
it for something more au courant "Ooooh my Gawwwwwd -- we HAVE this one
already!"...

The next day Grandpa accompanied us to our favorite park in NJ. Not only is
it a complete blast -- but, since last visit -- it had become the site for
three new mystery boxes!!! Yipppeeeee!

Now, we have seen via recent posts, that one needs to be especially careful
discussing anything to do with mystery boxes. So, as not to give anything
away, let it suffice to say that the [sic] was fantastic and we saw so many
wonderful [sic], not to mention the special visiting [sic] exhibit which was
just perfect for Miss Ma and her love of colors!! Many of the [sic] were
much bigger than we had imagined them to be in real life, but isn't that
often the case?! We had a great time going all over [sic] collecting the
info needed to complete the mystery box clues - what a great idea! Make
sure you pay special attention to the last whistle sign on the [sic] cause
it comes sooner than you think.

Although we were having a great deal of fun on part one of the boxing
venture, the day was hot and Grandpa was fading fast. So we did what BeMa
does best and looked for the nearest dispenser of all things frozen dairy.
We ate in the shade and passed a pleasant half hour quietly disparaging the
outfits of all the passersby (come on -- you do it too!... And, as long as
they don't hear you -- what the harm? It's just like yelling at the TV or
at the other drivers on the road -- with the windows up and carefully
avoiding those with gun racks. Of course, noticing some of the select
vocabulary words my children have learned strapped in their car seats
tooling around town with me, that might not be the best idea....) Anyway,
grandpa was having a particularly good time pointing out this poor woman who
was dressed head to toe in black pants and a black long sleeved shirt "In
this heat, what is she? crazy?!" (let me not fail to mention at this point,
that Grandpa himself, though we love him dearly, was, himself, dressed wrist
to ankle in dark blue....)

Thinking that everyone had gotten their second wind, Da and I whipped out
the compass and proceeded to try and follow all the clues we had gathered on
the [sic], at the [sic] and watching Be and Ma go round and round on the
[sic]. Much to our chagrin -- the clues weren't making sense. Always a big
danger sign! We tried going into one patch of woods and then another with
no luck. The ice cream had started to wear off and the complaining began so
we headed back to Grandma and Grandpa's house for a dip in the condo pool to
regroup.

On this trip, we had come to realize several things about visiting aging
parents. Firstly, really nice seniorish condo community pool regulars do
not relish when other people's grandchildren canonball into the water, have
repeated splash fights and shriek (usually -- but not always -- with
delight). I think Grandma and Grandpa will be spending the rest of the
summer indoors...

So as to try and not notice the scowls on the faces of those other grandmas
I began a study of their feet. Those ladies have really nice toes! Forget
the blue hair -- I want the great pedicures!! Is that part of the deal of
getting older? Maybe once the college educations are paid for...
Personally, I'm lucky if I get to redo my own pedicure -- myself -- before
the color from the last one has completely chipped off or grown to migrate
off the end of the nail itself -- leaving me with a stripe of red right at
the end -- and, wouldn't you know it -- red isn't even the hot color anymore
-- pink is! The tweens and the generation X'ers know it and the grannies do
too. Oooooh my gawd where have I been?!...

The second thing we learned about visiting aging parents is the rule that
the thermostat of the house must apparently be set to the age of the most
senior occupant of the residence (roughly 77 degrees!) (This rule is not to
be confused with the similar rule concerning the volume of the TV...)

Between hurried walks down to the shallow end of the pool to hush the
kiddies, Da and I realized that the clues weren't working because we
probably had the wrong starting point. Darned if that doesn't just put a
kink in the whole search!!

Grandma and Grandpa had generously offered to baby-sit for the kids while Da
and I went out for a romantic dinner -just the two of us -- alone -- with no
chicken nuggets... So, we decided that now that we knew the correct
starting point -- we would run back to [sic] and locate the three mystery
boxes. Then, flush with our success, we would dine.

To be continued in Part Two entitled "Where was BeMa When the Lights Went
Out?!..."

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